Young and in Love

Last week marked eleven years we have been together and I have absolutely no regrets. John and I started dating when I was 17 and he was 20, and then married when I was 20 and he was 23. We moved into a teeny-tiny apartment that was maybe around 600 square feet, if that. In those first years in that tiny apartment there was a lot of growth. I'm not going to stand here and say it's perfect and we're perfect people, but I can say there are some things we do well and some things we had to grow through. And, there are undoubtedly some things you and your spouse do well, too!

I realize it's not the popular choice in our culture, and I often get comments about us being so young. It oftentimes feels like people are looking at us like "Is this a real thing?" How is it possible for young people to actually commit for that long and make that definitive choice at such a young age? I'm always getting asked why we chose to do things that way. I don't think people mean it in a rude way, they're purely shocked that we would choose to trade the college experience for adult responsibilities. But to those of you who are in our shoes. Don't lose heart. It is possible to get married young and stay married.

If you're married, I hope this awakens your senses and helps you find new things to love about your relationship. It's a beautiful thing when couples can smile with pride when asked questions about their marriage. Sometimes it's also too easy to dwell on growth areas rather than just spend time loving strength areas. These are just a few things we love about being married at such a young age.

1. Time- One of the greatest things I love is that we get to spend so much more time with each other. Growing old together will take a lot longer!

2. Empire- We have built everything we have together. There was no mine and yours. There is nothing to fight over. It's ours. We didn't wait until we had it all together to get married. In fact, when we got married we had nothing. No debt. No mortgage. No titles. No other married friends. Every single thing we did, we did together. We had and still have to communicate and support each other to make it happen. We have lived through times of plenty and times where we had to stretch a tight budget. We've had to support and communicate with each other to help make goals happen.

3. Purity. He's all I've ever known. I don't have any experience from previous relationships to bring into this, and he doesn't have a significant amount either. I have nothing to compare our relationship to and no standards set by another man. There is so much freedom not being compared to or subconsciously held to the standards another woman set for my husband, and vice versa. This wasn't a thing I gave much thought to until I became a mom.

4. Protection. This is HUGE. Every one hits the struggle bus. We are human. The biggest way we protect our relationship is by not talking about our struggles with just anyone. Our culture is so quick to throw in the towel. If you want to have a relationship that lasts, find a like minded couple who supports that. We all need to talk through and pray through tough times. Be careful who you vent to for two reasons: One, slandering your spouse and making them seem less than in someone else's eyes, especially friends can flat out make things weird. If someone consistently complains to you about a particular person, you will eventually not like them and encourage your friend to not hang out with them. Same in relationships, which leads to my second reason. If you want to stay in a relationship, seek advice from people with similar morals, life goals, and experiences. The last thing you need is someone telling you to call it quits when you want a relationship that lasts. We often talk things through with his parents. They know us, they know family history, they have the same goals and morals, and most of all they're in our corner. They want us to succeed.

5. Fun. Spontaneity. Look for opportunities to add fun to your relationship. We love to travel together. We also want the girls to be great travelers. Whenever an opportunity arises we look at our time and budget to see how we can make it work. We look for discounts on flights, people we know who we can stop and connect with- keeping our long distance relationships strong, or even friends to travel with. Sharing some costs with friends can make traveling budget friendly and way more fun!

Strike up a conversation with your spouse and ask them what they love about your relationship! What are some things you do well?